Addiction is one of the hottest and most difficult problems in our
personal lives and in society today. You probably have at least one addiction
to something in your life. Think about whatever it is in your life that you
must have in order to be happy. Almost no one is totally free. But, it
is the degree to which that addiction limits you that matters. If you are
addicted to hugging your teddy bear in bed at night, it doesn't limit you very
much, but if you have to carry it everywhere you go, it might cause you some
problems. If you "would die" if your partner left, you're addicted to your
partner. If you have one of the "harder" addictions to alcohol, cigarettes,
drugs or food, you can be in for serious health problems if you don't control
your desires. And if you have to have chocolate ice cream to be happy, watch
out! You could be headed for serious "chocaholism".
This article will focus on the attitudinal change needed to release
addictions. So what is involved in the "gotta have it" syndrome? The two most
obvious factors which motivate most addictive behavior are the desire for
sensory pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Behind that, though, is a deeper
desire for love and acceptance which, when unsatisfied, leads to a wide variety
of addictive behaviors. Desire is necessary but dangerous. It motivates you to
pursue what you want, but, without awareness, you can be trapped into
repetitive patterns which are beyond your control. Pleasure and the avoidance
of pain , when carried to the extreme, can result in illness and pain . For
example, pleasure in the form of alcohol or drugs can result ultimately in
brain and liver damage, mental and emotional disturbance, and distruction of
career and relationships. The desire to be successful, powerful and have money
can be tremendously creative and productive, but, if overdone, may result in
anxiety, insomnia and exhaustion. The desire for a loving partner can result in
obsessive attachment to another person, ending in disappointment and grief if
they should leave you or die.
Desire is a two-edged sword, and it is necessary to be aware of when you
have desire and when desire has you. When you are no longer in control of
desire, and when your happiness depends on something outside yourself, you are
addicted. It is not possible to live in a desire-free state, but it is possible
to derive your happiness mostly from internally-generated states of love, good
feeling, excitement and happiness, rather than depending on the external world
to make you happy. You can always change your mind and your feelings inside
(though it's not necessarily a piece of cake, so to speak), but you can't
always changes the circumstances in the outer world. If you have to have
alcohol to feel relaxed and happy, you will be miserable when you don't have
it. If you are hungry, you will be upset until you are fed. If you are a
smoker, two hours without a cigarette may throw you into a panic. When you
don't have a lover, you can feel very alone and frustrated until you are with
someone again.
What is the way out? You have to take control of your own body, mind and
emotions and realize the most amazing power which you have to feel whatever way
you want to, regardless of the external circumstances. You happiness is really
manufactured by your own mind and depends very little on your outside
circumstances. You can feel good, no matter what you have or don't have, if you
train yourself to do that. It may seem too simple, but just try this
exercise.